Violating a Gender Norm

Recently a group of friends and I did a small social experiment in the form of violating a gender norm. In our society, there are very clear distinctions for how a man should act and how a woman should act. We are conditioned from a very young age to adhere to these norms. For example, boys are taught to like blue and red, trucks and sports. Girls are taught to like pink and purple, princesses and playing house. When they're older, men are to be tough and strong, and women nurturing and gentle. Gender norms extend to outward appearances, too. In America, women are expected to have long hair, wear make-up and dress in feminine clothing like skirts and more form fitting clothes. Men are expected to keep their hair short, wear minimal jewelry, and dress in masculine clothing.  The gender norms of outward appearance are what my friends and I chose to investigate.

Two members of our group, both of them males, wore dresses through Wal-Mart on a busy Saturday afternoon. We decided to be pretty obvious about it so that we could garner as many responses from people as possible. It is also worth noting that the location of this experiment is a fairly small and conservative town. We all acted as if we were on a normal shopping trip, pushing a cart through the aisles and picking up food items as we went. The most common reaction was laughs, usually from the adults we came across. A few people shook their heads, and one man said "Looks like somebody lost a bet." The older people we saw seemed to look away and avoid us. On our way out, the cashier said "Have a nice day ladies," with a bit of a laugh. Interestingly, some of the most enthusiastic reactions came from the kids. Several asked their parents why the boys were wearing dresses, and others would point or stare with confused looks on their faces. I found it pretty interesting that the kids were doing the most in terms of social sanctioning. This could be because kids are separated so often by gender that they are more acutely aware of what is "for boys" and what is "for girls."

When I was talking to one of the guys who wore the dresses, he said it was "honestly one of the most awkward experiences of [my] life." He was, in effect, socializing himself. Without anyone even saying anything to him, he felt extremely uncomfortable in the dress. He said he felt like he wasn't supposed to be wearing it, and that he was afraid of what people might think of him. It is interesting that violating a gender norm like this could induce a biological reaction such as fear or stress, but the concept of gender is not biological at all. Our ideas of what is ideally male or female are something that we as a society created. Proof of this can be found when looking back through history. The ideals of male and female beauty have changed dramatically throughout recorded history. The roles of men and women in history are varied. For example, the traditional view of a women's role would be that of a homemaker, but viking women were warriors right alongside the men. The color pink is now associated solely with girls, but in the past wearing pink was a perfectly acceptable men's clothing choice. These changes in male and female standards over time proves that these norms are constructed by society. Today, male and female gender roles are so deeply ingrained in our society that they have become subconscious for us.

So, why does this matter? Well, for starters, the gender binary is simply not all inclusive. Many people don't neatly fit into the categories "male" or "female." It is doing these people a disservice to attempt to socialize them into one or the other. By doing so, we could be distorting these people's sense of self. By not recognizing deviations from the gender binary as acceptable, we are setting these people up for discrimination and other inequalities. I think awareness of the issues surrounding gender norms is not as prevalent as many may think. There is still a lot of confusion about all of the related terminology and the differences people can have. I even just recently learned that gender may be best viewed as a continuum, with male and female on either end. With a little bit of education, I think more people will be open to a the idea of a range of gender possibilities. And if that happens, a new social construct of gender could start to form.